Above is an article from The New York Times Magazine written by Jacqui Shine on beginning to grieve the death of her mother. She describes the complexities and process so clearly and speaks about how sitting in the Rothko Chapel helped her.
And here is a poem of mine:
THE RIVER OF HEARTBREAK
the river of heartbreak glides slow today moving me south... I lie on my back stiller than I've ever been
silent as the rock— longing... we are alone here we are alone and so still we can feel the white planes of our faces— the hollows without bones
breathing in, out past the place of weeping remains... feeling the river— the continuing river the holding river the caring river, carrying us south slowly to the unfreezing sun
St. Francis knew this Rumi knew this Emily Dickinson knew this Mirabai for adornment carved sorrow to wooden beads hanging from her nipples— she danced and sang the river
I float home.
THOUGHTS
We all have spent time on this river. I have found if we let go, float, feel, and don't hold on, we move towards healing. Others have also found that grief and joy are part of the same dance. I have experienced this in moments :-). And if the grief is severe or unbearable get help: friends, therapists, counselors, spiritual teachers, books—what ever it takes and however long it takes. I have done so many many times.